I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
