I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
