Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you still have your period?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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