So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
