rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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