it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
