if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
