his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
