he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize