Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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