I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
All I want is dick and wine.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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