Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
