I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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