Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
