Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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