is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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