help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
