hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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