I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I fill condoms, not promises.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize