i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
