doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
