On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
