If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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