the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
