i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
