this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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