FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
