In the future we'll all be gay
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
