dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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