he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
