Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
