dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
