Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
