lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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