I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
