Will you blow on my dice?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
