Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
