My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm too high and old for this...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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