i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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