Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
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