She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The best revenge is premature balding
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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