my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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