when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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