look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
