Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude i'm inner monologue high
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
