this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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