Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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