why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
