How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
