Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
