You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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