I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
