Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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