Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
