Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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