so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
