I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
