I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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