What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
