we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
