I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
