More tranny stories later!
Please, let me fuck your mom
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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