she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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