I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
