Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
there is glitter all over my balls
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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