I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
