I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
