I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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