butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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