I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
